Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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