Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
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