So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
