I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
