I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
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The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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