so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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