I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i dont even know how to be here
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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