dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Moan for me like Helen Keller
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
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