the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
