am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize