I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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