I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
