Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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