And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
