even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
