Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
That's intense
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
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