The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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