Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
