kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Houston, we have a blender
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
