we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
