He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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