FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
