I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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