We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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