My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
