My brain says no but my pants say off.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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