I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
time to smoke my breakfast
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
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just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
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Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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