Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize