I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I should be sponsored by Trojan
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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