Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I understand Curling. That high.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
