do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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