Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
