Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
he's gonorrhea incarnate
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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