how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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