i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
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