I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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