The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
