Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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