we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
