Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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