I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
