My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
