What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
