I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Randomize
