i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize