There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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