I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
