when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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