What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
