my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
