any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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