there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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