I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
