just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
You took a bar mat shot.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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