Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
