I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
